Saturday, March 7, 2009

I Got in Trouble...I Got in Trouble!

This morning I heard the sound of Sandy's footsteps coming up the stairs....only this time they were very heavy she was stomping up the stairs....which, in fact, she was!

She spoke in a very low, but very firm voice. Reprimanding me for getting up at midnight to let Bubbles out to go poop....and not turning on the stairway light went I went down the stairs.

"But I used the flashlight," I said, feebly.

"Why is my mother bothering to spend the night with you if you are going to get up by yourself?"

I was confused. I didn't say anything.

"You need to have someone stay with you for the first three or four nights after you chemo."

"But I sat by the side of the bed to make sure I wasn't woozy," I said, in my defense.

"Why didn't you turn on the light?"

"I didn't want to wake your mother (the woman sleeps with the door open!), she had not been sleeping long and I didn't want to bother her." I thought I sounded noble.

"That's the last thing we need, for you to fall down the stairs and break something or cut something and get an infection. Your platelets are way down, your immunity is way down. We are so close to finishing this thing and you can't afford to have anything happen now," the nurse I live with said.

"But I don't break bones, like your family does." I was feeling a bit defensive.

"Well, you can't afford to get a cut either."

"Okay, I understand."

Now I understand. I thought I had to avoid sneezes and coughs and those kind of infections.

So, I will be a little WUSS and let Jean let the dogs out if they get up in the middle of the night, even if I don't feel woozy, exhausted, weak...even if I feel PERFECTLY FINE. She can drag her ass out of that nice warm bed and shuffle down the stairs, with her bad hip to let my dogs out into the cold, while she stands there freezing....waiting for them to pee or poop. Then she can limp back up the stairs, while I just lie there, snuggled under the covers.

Feeling guilty about the whole damned thing!

Soon it will be over.

I'm not going to get in trouble with Sandy about this subject again.

1 comment:

SueBear said...

Repeat after is okay to ask for help, even when when I think I don't need it...

and then repeat it again and again and again until you believe it....

of course, after six years I am still repeating that and trying real hard to believe it myself...

IT gets better...

don't ask what IT is...