Tuesday, June 5, 2012


heard from doctor when I pulled into garage after my workout at the gym and shopping trips to Stop and Shop, Home Depot and Campbell's farmstand. 

She said that they don't see much new on the CT scan Backus did...one "nodule" that had disappeared on their scans seems to be back again.  Why do they say "nodule?"  Why can't they say tumor?  They have all these euphemisms for tumor--"nodule"; "lesion"; "hyper density" and "hyper enhancement"--use language I can understand, damnit! 

Anyway, she said that there seems to be something going on..."brewing" is the word I used.  The fluid (ascites) is a concern...that's something new.  Most likely there are changes that the CT scan can't pick up yet. 

I told her I wanted to go on the clinical trial drugs.  She has to study the protocol and "do the math" to figure out when I can start the new chemo.  I have to wait 28 days from the last time I took the old clinical trial drug, Everolimus, which was on Thursday.   I may also have to have another CT scan before I start the drugs.  My CA 125 is now up to 218....it's going up steadily...so things are not good in there.

I'm hoping I don't have chemo until the first week of August...just in time for my 63rd birthday.  If I have it the end of this month, it will be complicated.  We will be staying in the RV in Lisbon...I'll need someone to drive me home from chemo AND someone to stay with the dogs in the RV...I can't leave them there alone...what if they barked the whole time?  So, Jean will have to dog sit and Sandy will have to drive me...or Sandy can drive me and the dogs can come along for the ride.  I don't need Sandy to sit with me the whole time...she can sit out in the car with the dogs and make sure they are okay.

So that's the story, Morning Glory...I'm still waiting to get the "math question" answered and to find out if I have to go for yet another CT scan.  I'll be willing to bet that I start this treatment on June 28th.  

I have my questions answered...the ones I cared about.  And the answer is:  the cancer is back and growing...somewhere that isn't totally showing up on CT scan...so it's not THAT big.  One of the drugs I'll be taking is a biological agent that responds to a different marker than Avastin, so it won't be like taking the drug that didn't work; and the other drug is a known chemo drug that has had some success against ovarian cancer.  A one-two punch.  It's not a blind study, I know I will be getting both drugs, no placebos in this study.  YAY!

Now we get back to planning that trip to Freeport for dock-diving the weekend after next and getting stuff picked out for the bathroom remodel.  In other words, the important things in life.



Waiting for Dr. McCourt to call to get my decision about what I want to do next...and for her to tell me how the Women and Infant's diagnostic imaging staff interpreted the CT scan done by Backus. 

I was supposed to have this call last Friday, but the disc that Backus sent to my doctor (via me) was blank!  This is the second time I have delivered a disc with (supposedly) my CT scan images to Women and Infants...and both times the disc was blank!  I am going to refuse to have any more CT scans done at Backus...the staff are nice and all...but.....

Anyway, I had a reprieve from making my decision while they worked on getting a good disc from Backus and getting it over to the experts to compare with my other CT scans. 

I made my decision anyway.  I'm going to stick with the "biological agents."  I have been getting Avastin, which is a biological agent...but it apparently is not working and it may have caused me to have an upper GI bleed.  So, I just say NO to Avastin and anything that might cause bowel perforations. 

I'm willing to give these new biologicals a chance.  They won't bother my bone marrow, they won't wear down my immune system and, unfortunately, they won't make me lose my hair.  I am really bummed about that...I do want to be bald again....BUT I can always just shave my damned head!

Okay, Dr. McCourt, CALL ME!   I have things to do!   I want to get to Home Depot to pick up small paint samples of a few of the colors I'm considering for the bathroom...paint them on the wall and then we can decide.   I also need to get over to Goodwill, to get some size 12 jeans and shorts.   I have a feeling that I won't be staying in that size for long, and I don't want to spend a whole lot of $$ for them, so Goodwill it is! 

Tomorrow I hope Charmine can join me in picking out tile for the shower and floor covering.  The bathroom project looms large in our future and I have not gotten much done since the decision to not remove any more damned wallpaper! 

I have to get the flooring up, the toilet removed, the choices of materials made and purchased and everything moved out for the guys to start work.  I have to get the RV packed and prepared for our "big trip" to Lisbon, where we will be staying while the work gets done.  Lots of stuff to do.

Good thing I won't have chemo this whole month to interfere with all the other things I need to do! 

Okay, Dr. McCourt...any time now!