So, I'm wrong about when the work on the bathroom will start.  I had asked the contractor three times about a date and he consistently told me that the last week of June was good.   So you may remember that I went to the RV park and reserved a spot for a week, so we could move out of here while they ripped up the bath.

Well, he came over the other day to go over the details again and I learned some things...some of them good and some of them not so much...   First, work will start the second week of July.   I'm out the $150 I put down as a deposit on the campsite, as I didn't give them at least 14 days notice of the cancellation. 

Second, the wall board won't be torn out.  It's the right kind of board and he feels confident he can smooth it down enough to paint it without having all kinds of spots and bumps.   This will save me a boatload of money.  The wallboard isn't expensive, but he would need an awful lot of it....due to the different angles and height of the room.  So, I save more than the $150 I lost on the deposit.

The job is going to take at least two weeks.  Four days for the contractor (I'll stretch that to five...knowing what I know about how guys work) and a week for the tile guy.  I didn't realize that the guy I've been working with is NOT going to be the one to put in the tile.  The tile will be installed by the guy from Colonial Carpet and Tile.  That's fine with me. 

I saw the estimate from Colonial and gulped, hard.  I went a bit over my budget for the tile.  That's all right, I absolutely LOVE the tile we picked out. 

Now I have to get to the store to pick out faucets, shower heads, drain, towel bars, toilet paper holder, lights for over the vanity, etc.  I also have to pick out a shower door.  I'm not sure if I can order that before the shower is built and they build accordingly, or if I order it after the shower is done.  I think the latter is the safest bet.

I have prepped and base coated the vanity and it looks great.  I'm waiting until after the vanity top (which is now sitting in my garage) is installed, before I do the glazing technique and put the seal coat on.   I'm trying to think ahead and if I wait, I can repaint if there are any dings or marks put on the vanity when they remove the old top and install the new one. 

As Charmine said, the bathroom renovation is a process....and it's processing!  It will all come together soon enough.  By the end of the summer we will have a new bathroom.    Of course, last night Sandy said she would be happy just to get rid of the horrid carpet and horrid shower door.  She could live with all the rest...I said, "now you tell me."   But I couldn't live with all the rest...the wallpaper, the vanity top, etc. 

We had a wicked, wicked thunderstorm here this AM.  It has really cooled down from the high heat we had last week.  I'm glad we are not in the RV at the park...so that little change of plans worked out for the good. 

Oh, I had my CT scan Friday.  Then went over for blood work and then upstairs to meet with the nurse regarding my appointment for chemo this Thursday.  She was supposed to tell me when the appt is and also what to expect, as far as how long the infusions will take, what premeds I'm supposed to get, etc.  Well, I went up there and let them know I was there.  I waited 25 minutes and no one had come out.  I had to get to Trader Joe's and then to my reflexology appointment, so I just got up and left.  I wonder if she ever came out to look for me....

So I go Thursday.  My appt with the doctor is at 11am.  I have no idea when my chemo appt is but I'm assuming it will be sometime after I see the doctor.  Sandy is coming with me for this appt.  Maybe she can go to work early and then come home and get me.  She can bring her computer and work while she waits with me....but I hope we aren't there all day.

What I'm really hoping is that I don't have to get benadryl IM before my infusion.  If I can skip the benadryl then I should be able to drive myself home from the appt...which means I don't need someone to come with me.  This would be great.  I feel less like a sick person and it means that Sandy doesn't have to take time off from work.  She hasn't claimed FMLA for over a year now and now she may have to get the paperwork submitted again. 

I also don't know who I will have for a chemo nurse.  I hope I can keep Little Anne Marie...but if I can't have her I would prefer to have Sandra...which I can't believe I am saying.  I used to despise Sandra when she worked on the other wing.  Now that she is out of that wing and away from that other toxic staff, she and I get along just fine.  She is a competent nurse and that's what I'm looking for.  I've had enough of incompetence, thank you very much.

Sandusky guilty....go to jail.  John Edwards...get lost.   Howard Stern RULES!!!

Later...

Back from our wonderful trip to the great state of Maine!   We got on the road around 11:30 Friday AM and ran into light traffic, although there were some hairy moments going through construction zones.  We arrived at our campsite with plenty of daylight left to set up the site inside and out, have dinner and take a hike down to the pond with the dogs.  We had a nice level, shady, hillside site, with very few "neighbors" around us. 

Sandy sprung for five bundles of wood...they are small bundles...and it looked like that would be a mistake because we were too pooped Friday night for a campfire.  We did, however, have fires going every other night and some mornings the rest of our stay. 

Saturday I got up and made breakfast, then had to go back to bed, didn't feel well at all.  I don't know what it is, but frequently after I eat I feel quite ill.  Fortunately that wore off, as did the clouds, in time for us to meet Gina and Andy at the diner.  We ate outdoors on the patio in the sun.  Sandy and I both had a big bowl of seafood chowder.  YUM!  

Then we went to Gina's house, where we met up with other "Jack Pack" folks and their dogs.  After a quick tour of Gina's lovely home and great backyard, we all piled into our respective vehicles and drove to Parker's Pond, a little distance from the house.  We went to a swimming area on one side of the road and all the dogs took dips in the pond, chasing toys. 

We tried Rocket in this environment.  HE DID IT!  He went for a swim, even though there were five other JRTs milling about on the shore and in the water.  It was a couple of firsts for him;  playing with so many other dogs around and first time he has been for a swim in a pond.  He has only been in the pool up until now.  He even went after a toy in the water that two other dogs were swimming to get!  Amazing!

We waited for the other JRTs to exit the water, then brought Bub and Truman out for a dip.  They loved it, as usual.

Then we all paraded across the street to the the boat launch area, where there is a dock.  We wanted the dogs to practice jumping off the dock.  Another first for Rocky.  He, like some of the other dogs, did NOT jump off the dock this time, but Sandy would lower him towards the water over the edge of the dock and he would "leap" to get the toy.  Then he got into the mode where he doesn't even care if there is a toy to be gotten, he just wants to get into the water!  We really think that someday he will get to the point where he will jump off the dock...it's a matter of time.

Bub and Truman came out and had another swim when all the rest were being dried off and loaded into their respective vehicles.  They had fun playing in the water, Bubbles "fishing" along the shore, looking for frogs...which we know she loves to kill!

Then we drove to Readsville to a nice cafe for dinner.  I was feeling pretty yucky, starting at the boat launch.  My guts were in an uproar and I had to keep going to the porta potty while the dogs were swimming and then made a few visits to the restroom at the cafe.  It had gone on too long and I got to my "cranky place" which, if you know me, you know that place ain't pretty...or very becoming to me.  I ran out of patience with everything after dinner and couldn't wait to get back to the RV and the friendly confines of my own "john."

Once we got back though, Sandy gave me some stuff from her homeopathic remedy kit, which settled my guts right down and I felt SO MUCH better.  We had a campfire and I was able to enjoy the evening.  We even heard loons on the pond while we were sitting out by the fire!  LOONS!  My favorites!

Sunday the sun was shining and I was feeling about 80% better than the day before.  Some more of that homeopathic stuff and I was ready to go for the day.  We lazed about in the RV and outside until later in the day and then we took the dogs back to Parker's Pond to swim.  The three of them swam at once this time as there were no other dogs or people around.  They had a ball.

We brought them back to the RV, totally bushed.  It's so nice when Jack Russells are all tired out.  They sink like logs into the bed, chair, couch and don't move.  They are so happy to be sleeping.  We love it.

We burned up the last of the wood and sat out for a long time, listening to the loons and the silence that surrounded us.  We were practically alone at the campground, most everyone else having moved out by noon.  It was a great decision to stay the extra night and head home on Monday to avoid the Father's Day traffic.

We had a great time in Maine, loved the campground, so that's another place we can add to our list of nice places to stay in Maine!  The Belgrade Lakes area is so damned beautiful.  We can't wait until our next trip north, which I believe is on Labor Day Weekend, when the Jack Pack gets together again.  We also have a separate trip to Wells planned for sometime in September.  And the big trip to Acadia at the end of Sept-beginning of October.  All of this is if we can work around my new schedule of weekly chemo sessions.

 We had an uneventful trip back home on Monday, although we swear we saw a RV on the other side of the road sideswipe a truck carrying a half of a modular home! 

Oh, on Sunday Maria called on her way home from Bob Miller's house.  She, Phil and Steve went to see Bob for Father's Day.  I'm glad they did.  I haven't seen him since my last "session" with Wini.  I can't be around her, it makes my blood pressure go up too high.  I miss my Dad, but it's better that I don't go.  Maria says that not much has changed for the better since I was last there, Wini is still stubbornly refusing to accept more help in the home.  Someone comes in to bathe Bob twice a week and that's it.  It would drive me nuts to be there.

Bob doesn't remember me.  He did note that "someone was missing" from the group though...he kept asking who was missing and they kept telling him "Ann."  Maybe they should have said "Ernie" because EE wasn't there either and maybe that's who he was thinking of.  EE hasn't been home to see us in so many years, we forget to list him as a family member!  I think he likes it that way...he must, otherwise he would have been out to visit.

Now we are making plans for the great bathroom do-over.  Jeremy came up while we were gone and removed the carpeting and some of the tile.  Jim, the contractor, is coming over Thursday to go over last minute details.  We have to pack up clothing, food, etc into the RV to move to Ross Hill Campground on Sunday.  We may or may not come back some nights to sleep here...we just won't use the bathroom.  We'll also be back daily to feed Murphy, who will be our on-site supervisor and I'll bring the dogs over some days to run in the back yard and to swim in the pool.

It's going to be a scorcher tomorrow, Sandy took the solar cover off the pool, so I can take the pups swimming.  We hope to get to Denise's at Beach Pond tomorrow with Rocky, to practice dock diving.  Hopefully his experience of the weekend, with all the people and the other dogs, will help him with being in an unfamiliar place--Denise's.  She has been so nice to offer her facilities up for his training purposes.  I hope he is nice to her in return.

Oh, Sandy went grocery shopping and came home with a jar of Nutella.  I have seen this stuff for years...first time was back in the early 80's when I was in the Netherlands with the National Guard and we went into a Dutch mess hall...they had a jar of Nutella on every table.  So, Sandy is allergic to nuts, which is what nutella is made of, so I assume she got it for me.  Yes, she did....and today when I texted her and told her that I felt really ill again she prescribed NUTELLA!   I did as she said, I made a piece of multigrain toast, spread with nutella...and VOILA!  I felt better within a few minutes.  So odd that something that tastes so sinfully good could actually be good for you! 

I don't know why I keep feeling so ill...maybe it's the chemo leaving my body, or maybe it's the chemo period and this is going to be something I'm always going to have as a result of taking chemo.  I'm reading more and more about the long term effects of chemo on the body.  Anyway, which ever it is, I do have to learn to handle feeling so ill a bit more gracefully.  I can't be so impatient and so grouchy, with Sandy and other people.  They don't know what it feels like and it isn't fair to them.  Sandy is so good to me and I need to be a LOT nicer to her, particularly when I don't feel well.

It's not right I tell you.  Not right at all.

Okay, off to bed.   Big day tomorrow of hauling a poop sample from Rocky to the vet in Mystic, then hopefully getting to the gym for a workout, drop off the tile samples at Colonial and then home to take the pups for a swim.  Then we can all take naps...the JRTs and me.

Later....

Am I great or what?

I am soooooo smart!   I had the whole chemo thing worked out even before the doctor did.

Just as I predicted, I will have to have a CT scan....will get that done next Friday and then I will start the new chemos on the 28th.  EXACTLY what I said!

I will stop crowing now.  UGH...I'm going to have to have chemo this month! 

We leave for Maine tomorrow--coming home Monday.  Hope to convince Rocky to become a "dock dog."   While we are away, Jeremy will be ripping up the carpet in the bathroom...YAY!   He's also going to remove as much of the tile as he can.   It is going to look so different in there when we come home, with that HORRID pink carpeting GONE!

But not as different as the following week, when the guys come to rip things out and put things in!  YAY!!!

So that's the latest from here in HappyLand....

Later.....

BORRRING!

Not much to report from here, which is fine by me.  Lots of sitting at home, doing chores around here and napping...lots of napping and lots of "I can't wait for bedtime."  I guess I am really tired, a lot.

That goes with the territory they say.  I have made it to the gym a couple of times and felt good while I was there, then would come home and CRASH.  So much for boosting my energy level.  I have to pace myself, save my strength for special occasions.

I did get down to the tile place last week--joined by Lindsay and Charmine.  We picked out the tile for the shower, a matching tile for the floor and a decorative glass tile for the accents.  I am so excited about our choices...it's going to look fabulous in there!  I'm not going to want to leave the bath! 

Sandy and I went Saturday and picked out a vanity top that's a marble composite.   I LOVE it!   We also bought a nice Kohler toilet and it has a great feature...when you put the seat down it drops it down SLOWLY...like those drawer closers that they have nowadays.  We got a "chair height" toilet.  It sits in the garage for now.  We'll install it ourselves after the guys finish all the work. 

Because I ended up getting ceramic tile for the floor instead of vinyl, I can now get heat installed in the floor.  I'm so excited about this.  We have little heat sources in our bathroom now...we usually have to run a little portable heater to keep from having ice forming on our noses.  I know that having warm feet won't stop the ice on the nose phenomenon but at least our feet will be happy!

And, I got paint samples and painted them on the wall, to help us choose the right one.  I'm very happy with the choice we made.  The one we all liked initially just disappeared on the wall...way too light.  Glad I tried the other samples.

I bought a kit to refinish the vanity cabinet.  The color I chose is called "Seaside" oddly enough.  I'm hoping I do the process right and it comes out looking good.  If not...well, I don't know what I'll do!

We are heading to Maine this weekend, leaving Friday AM and returning on Monday.  We'll be going to dock diving in Freeport I think it is.  I'm not paying attention to where, it's enough for me to know that we'll be in Maine. 

We are going to try Rocky at dock diving again...see if he can get over his tentativeness about the other people in the area, the other dogs, the noise, etc.  He's had a whole year of agility and all the confusion that brings to give him more experience.  We know he LOVES the water and he LOVES jumping into the water.

Denise offered her dock at Beach Pond for us to practice with Rocky and we are definitely taking her up on that offer!   It's right down the road and it is a great dock, with noise, people etc around to give him more exposure to those conditions. 

Perhaps dock diving, along with agility, will be Rocky's niche.  He isn't into the regular Russell games.  We want to find something he loves to do. 

We appreciated his reluctance to be like the other Russells the other night when he tentatively followed a huge skunk who was making its way across the yard after having just sprayed Truman in the face.  Sandy called out to Rocky, who turned around with a worried look on his face and promptly trotted back to us.  I corralled Rocky and Bubbles, while Sandy scooped up Truman, who was busy rubbing his face in the dirt, trying to get the stench off.

I mixed up the skunk smell remover formula and Sandy applied it...and IT WORKED!  Truman didn't smell.  Still some lingering whiffs of skunk smell in the guest bath, where she washed him down.  Not bad though for how bad he got hit with the stuff. 

That was our excitement for this week.

Next week we have to start packing up to move out of here while the men do the bathroom renovations.  Should be nerve-wracking.  I still haven't heard from Jim, the contractor.  He was supposed to get in touch with me by now so we could go over the final details.  I did email him and told him the additional jobs I want him to do, including installing the vanity top--if it comes in while they are still here working on the bathroom.  If I don't hear from him by tomorrow night, I'll call.

If I don't hear from Dr. McCourt I'll guess I'll have to call her too.  She was supposed to be looking at the clinical trial protocol and figuring out when I can start chemo.  I want to know when it starts, then I can start planning my calendar.  Since I'll be going for chemo weekly, I need to figure out a lot of things!  I hope they will be flexible about that once a week thing, especially if we are planning to go away in the RV. 

I will not let ANYTHING interfere in our RV trips!   I have my priorities.

Later.....

Finally...

heard from doctor when I pulled into garage after my workout at the gym and shopping trips to Stop and Shop, Home Depot and Campbell's farmstand. 

She said that they don't see much new on the CT scan Backus did...one "nodule" that had disappeared on their scans seems to be back again.  Why do they say "nodule?"  Why can't they say tumor?  They have all these euphemisms for tumor--"nodule"; "lesion"; "hyper density" and "hyper enhancement"--use language I can understand, damnit! 

Anyway, she said that there seems to be something going on..."brewing" is the word I used.  The fluid (ascites) is a concern...that's something new.  Most likely there are changes that the CT scan can't pick up yet. 

I told her I wanted to go on the clinical trial drugs.  She has to study the protocol and "do the math" to figure out when I can start the new chemo.  I have to wait 28 days from the last time I took the old clinical trial drug, Everolimus, which was on Thursday.   I may also have to have another CT scan before I start the drugs.  My CA 125 is now up to 218....it's going up steadily...so things are not good in there.

I'm hoping I don't have chemo until the first week of August...just in time for my 63rd birthday.  If I have it the end of this month, it will be complicated.  We will be staying in the RV in Lisbon...I'll need someone to drive me home from chemo AND someone to stay with the dogs in the RV...I can't leave them there alone...what if they barked the whole time?  So, Jean will have to dog sit and Sandy will have to drive me...or Sandy can drive me and the dogs can come along for the ride.  I don't need Sandy to sit with me the whole time...she can sit out in the car with the dogs and make sure they are okay.

So that's the story, Morning Glory...I'm still waiting to get the "math question" answered and to find out if I have to go for yet another CT scan.  I'll be willing to bet that I start this treatment on June 28th.  

I have my questions answered...the ones I cared about.  And the answer is:  the cancer is back and growing...somewhere that isn't totally showing up on CT scan...so it's not THAT big.  One of the drugs I'll be taking is a biological agent that responds to a different marker than Avastin, so it won't be like taking the drug that didn't work; and the other drug is a known chemo drug that has had some success against ovarian cancer.  A one-two punch.  It's not a blind study, I know I will be getting both drugs, no placebos in this study.  YAY!

Now we get back to planning that trip to Freeport for dock-diving the weekend after next and getting stuff picked out for the bathroom remodel.  In other words, the important things in life.

Later....

Tuesday

Waiting for Dr. McCourt to call to get my decision about what I want to do next...and for her to tell me how the Women and Infant's diagnostic imaging staff interpreted the CT scan done by Backus. 

I was supposed to have this call last Friday, but the disc that Backus sent to my doctor (via me) was blank!  This is the second time I have delivered a disc with (supposedly) my CT scan images to Women and Infants...and both times the disc was blank!  I am going to refuse to have any more CT scans done at Backus...the staff are nice and all...but.....

Anyway, I had a reprieve from making my decision while they worked on getting a good disc from Backus and getting it over to the experts to compare with my other CT scans. 

I made my decision anyway.  I'm going to stick with the "biological agents."  I have been getting Avastin, which is a biological agent...but it apparently is not working and it may have caused me to have an upper GI bleed.  So, I just say NO to Avastin and anything that might cause bowel perforations. 

I'm willing to give these new biologicals a chance.  They won't bother my bone marrow, they won't wear down my immune system and, unfortunately, they won't make me lose my hair.  I am really bummed about that...I do want to be bald again....BUT I can always just shave my damned head!

Okay, Dr. McCourt, CALL ME!   I have things to do!   I want to get to Home Depot to pick up small paint samples of a few of the colors I'm considering for the bathroom...paint them on the wall and then we can decide.   I also need to get over to Goodwill, to get some size 12 jeans and shorts.   I have a feeling that I won't be staying in that size for long, and I don't want to spend a whole lot of $$ for them, so Goodwill it is! 

Tomorrow I hope Charmine can join me in picking out tile for the shower and floor covering.  The bathroom project looms large in our future and I have not gotten much done since the decision to not remove any more damned wallpaper! 

I have to get the flooring up, the toilet removed, the choices of materials made and purchased and everything moved out for the guys to start work.  I have to get the RV packed and prepared for our "big trip" to Lisbon, where we will be staying while the work gets done.  Lots of stuff to do.

Good thing I won't have chemo this whole month to interfere with all the other things I need to do! 

Okay, Dr. McCourt...any time now!

Later...

Progression

When I signed onto to the clinical trial I started in December they said because I'm considered a "chronic ovarian cancer patient", I would stay on the drug until "progression or toxicity." 

Today they stopped the drug.  Avastin is what I have been taking, along with the drug that they are testing to enhance the action of Avastin, called Everolimus. 

Tonight I have to read a lot of material about two other drugs that are part of a clinical trial and taxol, a drug I have had in the past.  Tomorrow I have to give my answer regarding which poison I am choosing to take, the new combo drug or the taxol. 

I have had to change my goal of beating this cancer to a goal of "containment."   My doctor used that words with me today and I'm glad she did.  Now I am sure that she is a straight shooter and I don't have to worry about her beating around the bush and equivocating when it comes to the important decisions. 

So, we hope to contain this cancer so it doesn't spread.   I have to spend some time absorbing this information, so I can understand how it will effect my decision making in the future. 

I have had the blinders on from the get-go about this cancer...that's how I have coped with it thus far.
All "cheery, can-do, rally-round-the-flag boys" stuff.  And it has worked.  Not to say that I am dropping this attitude, I just have to be realistic too. 

The reality is that few in my situation get out alive.  That is the cold hard fact about ovarian cancer.  It's a real killer.  Just as getting a diagnosis of breast cancer or lung cancer a few years back was a death sentence, ovarian cancer at Stage Three or Four is pretty much a death sentence.

Those of you who need to hear cheery news, who don't want to hear about dying or the sordid details of this illness, stop reading this blog now and don't ever come back.  I won't judge.  It's all right.  I totally understand.  Not everyone wants to talk about or listen to this stuff.  I don't even want to have to write it...but I am going to write it...for selfish reasons, it helps ME. 

It helps ME to put these thoughts and events in writing.  It helps me to get some clarity, to make decisions, to prioritize my life.  People have frequently said to me "too much information"...I know sometimes they are joking, but sometimes they mean it...I do share a lot of information...more than the average person, I know that.  If this stuff is too much information...don't read it.

Anyway, long story short.  I started having abdominal pains last week when we came home from the JRT trials and then had a fever to boot.  So I ended up in the Backus ER on Thursday.  They did exams and a CT scan, which showed that I had ascites (fluid build-up) in my abdomen and they spotted three lesions (my word, not theirs), where my last CT scan done in April had only shown one.  I also was having black diarrhea this whole time...from my last chemo appointment up until yesterday, so for almost two weeks.  This is not a good thing.

The doctor at the ER told me that the cancer was back.  It really hadn't gone, there was one lesion on my previous CT scan...but the level was low.  Now it looks like things are growing, which may have been there all along, just not big enough to show up on the scan.

My doctor is concerned that I have been having an upper GI bleed, quite likely a side effect of the Avastin, which is notorious for causing bowel perforations.  She stopped my treatment effective today while she reviews the Backus CT scan pictures with the staff at Women and Infants. 

She presented two options for chemo to us today and I have to review them tonight, weigh the pros and cons and make my decision.  She will call me tomorrow to see what I want to do.

No matter which option I take I will be going to chemo once a week instead of once every other week.  I will also need to have the premeds that make me drowsy and incapable of driving myself home, which means I'm going to have to rely on someone(s) else to accompany each time.  I have been enjoying the independence of driving myself to and from treatments.  This is something I will have to adjust to, having someone else there.  Pardon me while I take a moment to swear, rather loudly.....

There....that's out of my system.  I don't want to resent the person who is accompanying me to the appointments, that would not be right.  So I have to get my head straight about this. 

One option is a clinical trial thing...a combo drug.  If I choose that option I can't start treatment until the end of June and it won't be until the end of July before we know if it's effective.  This combo drug also has a number of side effects, including rash (highly likely), which may require taking an antibiotic; fever and flu like symptoms for a few days following treatment and some other stuff which I'm not remembering now.  Oh, it doesn't cause hair loss...and I had been looking forward to being bald again!

The other option is taking Taxol...a drug I have had for two treatments (12 doses).  I would get it every week instead of the every three week interval that I used to have when I was on it.  I would get a lesser dosage so the side effects would be lesser too....bone and joint pain; hair thinning; and diarrhea.  I get diarrhea from everything it seems, so what the hell?

Right now I am leaning toward the combo drug.  Just because if it doesn't work I have Taxol to fall back on, but if I take Taxol and it doesn't work, or stops working, I may no longer be eligible for the clinical trial.  Also, and this is a big factor, I am in good shape physically right now and can better deal with the side effects.  What if Taxol worked but then I got sicker and then had to go to this drug and deal with the side effects while being sicker?   I think I would like to keep Taxol as my "Ace up my sleeve"...I'm familiar with the side effects, they wouldn't be as bad as I have had in the past (and I dealt with them no problem then) and at least I wouldn't have to deal with being really sick from the cancer AND having to deal with new side effects.

It all sounds like I can plan things and have it all work out the way I have planned.  NOT!  I have been humbled into realizing that you can only control somethings....and you better control the things over which you do have control.  Sound like double talk?  I know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I am feeling much better than I did last week.  The pain is no where near where it was, my bloating has gone down.  If the bloating can stay down for the next 28 days until I get the next treatment (if I choose that option), I'll be good as gold!

Oh, I would be horribly remiss if I didn't also include mention of the wonderful time we had at the Jack Russell trial two weeks ago and the fantastic trip to Maine we made last weekend, when Sandy and Rocky ran in the "Canicross" 5K just outside of Freeport.   We took the RV to both events and had a ball....we LOVE that RV.  Jane came to visit and watch the race last weekend.  It was great to see her, we haven't seen her in a couple of years!

We have some great trips planned coming up in June and July and August and Sept and October!  Several trips to Maine, which we absolutely love.  We are going to go to Maine Father's Day weekend, to take the dogs to try dock diving again.  We think Rocky would love it, if he could get past his anxiety about "strangers" being on the dock.  He loves to swim in our pool...he goes nuts in the water. 

Sandy is putting the pool up this weekend and the garden is going to be planted.  I'm going to plant my tomatoes and herbs in pots on the porch.  Sunday I volunteer at the "Drive to Survive" event to benefit the Ovarian Cancer Coalition in Voluntown.  My friend Frannie is going to join me.  Saturday I hope to make it to the gym...have missed going there since I started hurting.  I have been keeping busy doing work around the house, RV and in the yard.  So I haven't been a total slug. 

In short, I have had a set-back with my cancer.  This is a serious set-back, in that this is the first time the cancer has returned WHILE I was taking chemo.  Not good.  However, there are still options I can take to see if we can't rein this in and get it under control once again.  Looking to the future, my goal is to keep it contained..live my life and hope for the best.  If I get "cured" I will be pleasantly surprised.  However, I must be realistic and say that the odds of that happening are NOT in my favor.  When my time is up, it is my goal to be as prepared as I possibly can so I don't leave a mess for others to clean up and to know when it's time to say "when."

That's something we can apply to many parts of our lives...knowing when to say "when."

Later.....