Vacation and "vacation?"

Since I can't remember when I last wrote here I can only assume that I did not write about the Costa Rica trip.  February is really a blur in my rear view mirror right now.

I' share some of my favorite pictures from Costa Rica--which was a FABULOUS trip!  It met or exceeded all my expectations.  I have many more pictures but these are some of my favs and I don't want to stress your bandwidth!

If you ever  had a notion to go to Costa Rica go with Caravan.  They are the greatest!  We stayed at wonderful hotels, traveled around the country in airconditioned, leather seated style and went on so many great side trips--on boats up and down rivers, seeing wildlife, to volcanoes, to plantations, it was all amazing!  The food and tips for restaurant and hotel staff are all included in the already low price.  Our guide was fabulous and funny.  I felt safe, secure and comfortable the whole way.  It was wonderful.

Now I will only buy coffee from Costa Rica, will search out bananas that are from Costa Rica, etc.  I will do what I can to support that wonderful country.  How can you not like a country that got rid of their military about 70 years ago and used the money to build schools and provide national health care to their citizens?   AND, their number one industry is eco-tourism...so they preserve a large percentage of their country for the benefit of the birds, animals and flora that lives there.  Wonderful!

The week after I got home from that adventure I set off on another adventure of a lifetime.   I went to Westerly to Zoe and Co and got fitted for bras!   Sue Gardner came with me.  We had adjoining dressing rooms.  It was rather funny--my ample bosoms and her 'minus numbers" boobs....and we turned out to be the same size!   32!   Of course the cup sizes were a bit different!   We had a good laugh, I bought a bunch 'o bras and then we went for lunch. 

So, now, for the first time since fifth grade, my boobs are right where they should be.  It took awhile to get used to the tightness of the band around my chest...I had been wearing 34's for years.  Now it feels perfect. 

The next week I left for my Putnam adventure.  Wini left a day early as she had a very early morning flight on Wednesday, so I went up there on Tuesday.  Took Bob out to the Golden Greek for dinner so Wini could finish packing.  When we got back she was gone which might not have been the best thing.  He had said goodbye to her, told her he loved her and would miss her and all, but when we got back he was confused about where she was, etc.   I had to keep telling him where she was going and when she would return.

The next day he called me Wini and didn't ask about her again until she called that night and he got confused about who he was talking to on the phone, who I was, etc.

This would go on every day.  Some days were better than others as far as what he remembered about his life.

In the meantime, I was busy cleaning out his room, going through all the boxes that remained in there.  I was very happy to find his original will and testament, the original of the Power of Attorney he  had assigned to me.  This enabled me to go to the banks and FINALLY get the financial information I needed to complete the application to Westview for him.

I was able to pull out items that he loved, could relate to and left those for him to see, touch, read in his room.  Got his bedding all cleaned and went through his clothing and got rid of stuff he can't fit into anymore.  In short, his room was totally cleaned.  This, of course, was a change and even though he liked it and appreciated that he could move around and use his whole room, it still was change and he had some trouble adjusting. 

Not that he was aware of all the "stuff" he had in his room, but I did reassure him that I was going to find people who would want/benefit from the stuff that I had removed.  He was happy to hear that.  When he first packed up these boxes that he had in his room and in the cellar, he had carefully categorized them:  family stuff, Aspinock stuff, St. Mary's stuff, Troop 21 stuff.  Wini had thrown the monkey wrench in the works when she insisted that I go through every piece of paper with him.  This approach stalled the whole process and led to some items being removed from the collections. 

It's all good now.  I have five boxes of material that the Town Historian is taking.  Peter Johnston came and hauled away four legal boxes and two huge garbage bags of stuff to be shredded--old checks, IRS stuff, medical stuff etc from 10-15 years ago.  Brian and Pat came up and hauled away loads of trash.  It was great having all the help from the family.

I was like a shark while I was up there, kept moving and moving.  Every time I sat down to rest I thought of something else I could do.  I cleaned the house (minus Wini's room) from stem to stern and hoped that Wini would accept having the cleaning lady come every week. 

I bought a hand held shower system and Peter installed it for me.  I worked out a good shower routine for Bob...I helped him shower twice in the time I was there.  He looked good and more importantly, smelled great!  I would wash his hair and face...as the first time he showered he scrubbed at the spot on his temple where he had the cancer removed and caused it to bleed.    So, after that I decided I would wash his head.  He took care of the rest.  Getting in and out of the tub is tough for him, but he has a grab bar to hold onto and that helps.

Bob and I enjoyed watching the Huskies play twice, he really got into the Notre Dame game.  He went to bed early and napped, so he could get up for the 9pm start.  He and I kept getting confused by the stupid uniforms the Huskies were wearing that night and more than once we found ourselves accidentally rooting for Notre Dame, who were wearing blue!

I got him over to the dentist to find out why he kept bleeding on the pillow at night.  I had to throw out three pillows that had blood all over them.  Turns out he had found an old pair of dentures in his room and had "mismatched" the old top plate with the new bottom plate!   He had also been wearing the dentures to bed and was chewing his lip in his sleep....he had a laceration on the inside of his lip.  We threw out the old dentures and figured out a procedure to insure that he didn't wear his teeth to bed.  Hopefully his lip will heal.  I had him rinse with salt water a couple of times a day to try to get it healed up.  That's an old remedy he could relate to---he always had us rinse with salt water for all kinds of things, if you lost a tooth, if you threw up, etc. 

We had fun during the week, we went out to eat a few times and I even went with him to church.  He enjoyed the meals I prepared for him and praised my cooking.  He always was appreciative of good meals and always thanked my mother for her meals.  His mother wasn't such a great cook I learned, so he really loved my mother's cooking.

I would love to be able to say that when Wini came home she gladly accepted my offer to have the cleaning lady come in more frequently.  No.  That she and I set an appointment with DKH's Homemaker/Home Health Aide program to get someone to help them with transportation, cooking, bathing, etc.  No. 

I had told her that I didn't want her to shower Bob anymore...it is not safe.  I told her I would come and help him shower until we could get someone in to help him.  She refused. 

Monday I am bringing the boxes to the Town Historian and will take Bob and Wini out to lunch.  I'll try again to get Wini to accept the house cleaning services every other week--Bob has plenty of money to pay for this and for DKH services.  I will try again to get her to stop stalling and set up an appt to meet with the DKH people.  

If I am not successful with these important tasks, when Bob goes to Dr. Botta on the 20th I will be going with them and will be telling Dr. Botta my concerns.  Wini needs help and if she can't/won't accept it, I don't think it is safe/healthy for him to remain in that home.  They both need help now in order for him to stay there. 

We did deliver the application to Westview and they did call me to confirm that they had accepted it.  Bob does have enough money that he could do private pay for a decent amount of time...which must boost his name on the wait list.  The Millers never thought we would get any inheritance anyway...I don't care if we have to spend it all...we aren't going to "cheap out" on his care, just so we can get some bucks down the road.  We don't think that way.

I have to say that spending that time with my Dad was a mixed experience....we had fun--he can still be very funny; we shared some experiences--watching the Huskies; taking walks in his yard and in mine and we just relaxed and enjoyed each other.  On the other hand, I learned how much time and attention and work he needs to be safe and healthy and I don't think Wini can do it alone. 

This last bit is what has caused me to lie awake at night....and I can't afford to lose sleep and get run down...this affects my health.   BTW,  I lost six pounds in the week I was at Bob's. 

Something has to give....

Pats are in the Bowl!

Well, the Pats squeaked by Baltimore and will be playing in the Super Bowl!  What an ending!  Now the Giants and San Francisco are locked in a toe to toe battle...you know, just as in the Final Four, sometimes the most exciting games are played in the semi-finals....not the final. 

Charmine and I will be watching the Super Bowl from the Marriott Hotel bar in Costa Rica.  Should be fun.  I've already packed my Pats t-shirt, so I will be dressed appropriately for the occasion.

We leave for Costa Rica a week from Tuesday.  We'll be gone ten days.  I went on line and looked up the hotels where we will be staying and they all look great!  It's going to be an action-packed ten days...I just have two wishes...the weather cooperates and my body cooperates!   I will have opportunities to rest on the bus rides and every day there is "free time" to relax at the hotel pool...which I plan to take advantage of as much as possible!

We got a foot of snow overnight Friday to Saturday.  Sandy had to run the snow blower for the third time this week....she loves it!  The doggies don't love it though.  Rocket went out the back door and jumped down one stair, landing in snow up to his neck, he turned right around and trotted back inside!  I didn't blame him.  He snuggled under the blanket on my lap and slept like that the rest of the day, barely going out to pee. 

We don't have a "snow dog" anymore.  Lily was the snow dog...she loved it when the weather turned cool.  She would go outside while Sandy shoveled and ran the snow blower and she would sit out there the whole time.  She would be coated in white and loving it!  She was big so she could also plow through the deep stuff without problem...the little dogs would follow in her trail, using her like their own "Mr. Plow."  Now they have to wait for Sandy to plow the paths out back for them. 

On Friday I successfully completed another half hour workout session with my personal trainer.  We did aerobic on the treadmill, then lifting the pipe overhead, step work, squats against the wall and stair climbing.  I felt pretty good afterwards.  I go again on Tuesday for another half hour and maybe will schedule another session for Friday.  Then I will be gone--to Costa Rica and then to Putnam to care for Bob while Wini goes to Florida.  I'll start up again in March.  I plan to sign up for at least four more sessions.

Speaking of Wini, she agreed to meet with the woman that Cindy told me about.  This is a woman who knows them from church.  She has experience with providing care for elderly people in their homes, cooking, cleaning, transporting, etc.  I asked Wini if she would at least meet with the woman with me and she said yes!  She is now willing to have help.  Dr. Botta had spoken with her about it, I spoke with her and other people have too...it's all working!   She told me the other day that she feels like "the old Wini" which is great!  I think it's because she is letting go of some responsibilities and it is lightening her load.

I'm already thinking of things to do with Bob, besides transporting him to all his activities....I think we'll go to Worcester and get us some Coney Island dogs...it's been forever since he's had those.  I'll take him shopping for stuff he needs and maybe see about getting some adaptive equipment in there...for the bath especially.  And clean....I will clean out that bedroom, so he can move around in there without having to crawl over boxes, etc.  Maybe I can even figure out something to do with the light, so he can't knock it over and break the bulbs....he keeps breaking bulbs. 

I think I will go "doctor shopping" when I'm up there, too.  I'm thinking I will go to Dr. Wreschner first and then get my name on the list for Dr. Botta.  I have just about had it with my current doctor.  I like my Nurse Practitioner, but it's not always easy getting in to see her and I no longer trust my doctor or the other nurse there.  I don't really want to go to Backus if I have to be hospitalized.  From all I know about that place, I have to say it isn't safe to be a patient there.  I would rather take my chances in my small, hometown hospital.

I used to be Dr. Wreschner's patient when he first came to town.  That should count for something.  Dr. Botta sees anyone over 50...he is my Dad's doctor.  I absolutely love and trust him.  He works hard for his patients (as does Wreschner) but it is hard to get onto his patient list and I think you have to pay out of pocket some....but it is definitely worth it. 

So, ch-ch-changes....all good.  Things are rolling along now quite nicely.  It feels good.

Speaking of feeling good, I can't tell you how great it is to not have my stomach hurting constantly.  I noticed it when it stopped hurting.  What a difference!   The area that I though had herniated again, is clearing up nicely...I think it was muscle strain from the dry heaves.   Thank goodness!  I wasn't looking forward to my trip to Dr. Valin and have him find me herniated again!   He would NOT be a happy camper!

Okay, back to the Giants/San Francisco game....

GO PATS!

Later...

Long overdue, my apologies, I finally put my fingers on the keyboard to update this blog. 

Since last we talked, I found out that my chemo regimen is working!   The last CT scan showed that the tumors are shrinking (or rumors are shrinking) and my CA 125 level is down to SIX!   It had made it up to 44 the last time it was taken.

Of course, I knew that the chemo was working.  The chemo ALWAYS works for me.  I hate to sound jaded, but I didn't celebrate too much when I heard this news...I knew the answer before they told me.  I did high five Sandy....again...as we have every time we get the good news. 

I also wasn't too excited because I felt so darned rotten.   I don't know if I had written about the latest situation--on the day I went for my first workout with my personal trainer, I came home feeling ill and quite weak.  I also got the chills, which didn't quit.  Sandy took my temp later in the evening and sure enough, I had a fever!  It was 100.6 degrees, which for me is high as my normal temp is around 97-97.5. 

Sandy said there was a virus going around and I probably had it, so I decided to "ride it out,"   By Sunday, with my temp around 99.7 to 100.2 and my chest bothering me, I decided to break down and go to the hospital--Urgent Care Clinic.    The doctor I saw was SURE I had pneumonia--my pulse ox was down to 94.  She ordered a breathing treatment and a chest x-ray.  The breathing treatment brought my oxygen level right up to 99.  Good...but it didn't help me "feel" better.  The chest xray came back negative--which really disappointed the doctor. 

She ordered blood tests and prescribed Leviquin, in case I had an infection.   I started feeling better the next day and thought I was in the clear.  Then on Wednesday, I started having chest pressure, became constipated, couldn't pass gas and that is NOT good for my system.  The end result?   WICKED dry heaves that left me with my abdomen hurting....I think I may have activated the old hernia again....under the mesh.  OUCH!  

The dry heaves happened again on Friday night as we were heading to Jean's for Ryan's birthday party.  I occupied the bed in the spare room all night--running back and forth to the loo to heave--as the rest of the family sat out in the other room, wolfing down steak tips, stuffed potatoes and other goodies...and birthday cupcakes.   CUPCAKES!   Jean also made fried onions that night and I think I shall always associate the smell of fried onions with dry heaves.

Okay...Sunday night, dry heaves again.  So, three strikes and you're out!  I stopped taking the Leviquin and haven't had any problems....yet.  I called my doctor and left the message that I stopped taking the meds and why and looking for guidance as to what I do now.  Haven't heard word one....I'm really getting pissed about this doctor's office.

I went for my second workout session--and we cut it in half to see if that helps.  I came home very tired and ill feeling.  I'm scheduled to have the other half of the workout on Friday--but I'm thinking I will delay until next month.  I need to rest up for Costa Rica, which comes up at the end of the month.

I have been working on Wini to accept help in the house and I am really going to push her tomorrow. 
She seems to be more amenable lately.  I think there have been several folks talking to her about the matter and perhaps this will get her to finally make a move.  I keep trying to pin her down on getting an appointment to speak to the Homemaker people, she keeps telling me she wants to, but comes up with excuses and diversions ("I need new shoes")  about what her current priority is.  

I know I can't keep going up there indefinitely...something has to give.  I have to work on getting myself in shape or I won't be any good to Bob, Wini or anyone. 

I spoke to the doctor about helping me manage the chemo side effects--most notably the waaaay high blood pressure.  I am now keeping a  diary.  My BP shoots up right after the chemo treatment--and usually drops down before the next one...but two times in a row, my BP has been high (for me) when I there for chemo and this last time it didn't come down within acceptable limits and they had to get "special dispensation" from the doctor to give me the chemo.

So it looks like I'll be taking blood pressure medication and I hope I get it soon...before I go to Costa Rica.  

Oh...speaking of which...I am working on my packing for the trip.  My goal is to have one carry-on piece of luggage and my backpack...period.  Nothing goes below decks.  The reason is because 1) I usually overpack and I need to learn how to pack lighter and 2) we are going to be moving every few days while we are touring Costa Rica and I don't want to schlep around a bunch of bags. 

I have most of what I am bringing for clothing in one medium sized plastic bag.  I just have to add underwear/sandals/walking shoes/and my camera.  Oh...and my meds.  UGH!  I think I will have room to spare!   Not that I buy a lot of souvenirs---I tend to let my pictures be my souvenirs.   I think I'm going to do this!

This is one of my "souvenirs" from our trip to Sweden in 2011......I can still remember the heat of that day....

We have our first snow on the ground today.  I know lots of folks are hoping that's the end of it...but I do have those new cross country skiis that are calling to me...so I'm hoping we get more. 


The Patriots are surprising me....I thought they didn't have a chance of making the Super Bowl....I was wrong.  They play this weekend...of course the game starts at exactly the same time as our SNEAK club meeting on Sunday!  We'll have to set the DVR and watch it when we get home.   And OF COURSE, if they DO make it to the Super Bowl, that game will be played when we are in Costa Rica!   I'll bet I can find it on tv down there, somewhere.  That seals it though...now it's a guarantee that they will go to the Super Bowl...and they will lose.  That's what happens to the Huskies anyway, when they are in the Final Four when I'm at Disney World.....that's life.

Okay...enough of this crap.  I'm outta here!

The New Year

We start the new year without two of our favorite fur friends---Nami and Jenny and I ended the old year with a good crying jag because of it.

Nami was Jean's dog, via our house.  We had fostered Nami after she was turned in to Camp Bark (the doggie day care) by the CL&P guy who found her wandering the streets of Norwich.  She was soooo skinny, at least fifteen pounds underweight.  She was a pitbull, mix...probably, but she reached in and had my heart the first moment I set eyes on her.

I saw her out back at the day care, and felt so bad for her weight-wise, that I gave her a treat.  She took it so gently and looked at me with those soulful eyes, that seemed to understand everything I was feeling. Her name at the time was No-Name.  When we offered to have her come live with us while she was trained to be an assistance dog, I changed her name to Nami.  I didn't think it was right to always use the word "No" when speaking to a pet.

Nami used to curl up with Truman and Lily on Lily's bed in the living room.  The two of them were pups and Lily was the Mom.   They loved her and she loved them.  Nami would sleep under the covers with me at night, her head on my ankles when she first got in the bed, later she would have her head on my hip and when I would awake in the AM, she would have moved up to the top, head on pillow, from where she would lean over and give me a big kiss.

Jean didn't like Nami at first.  She was afraid of the breed, and thought we were nuts for taking her into our home.  We took Nami for a walk with the other dogs one day and then went over to Jean's for supper.  Jean told us in no uncertain terms that "That dog cannot come in this house!"   We agreed and left her in the car.  When Sandy went out to take Nami out to potty out back, Jean watched suspiciously from the window. 

When she saw how skinny Nami was, she felt a soft spot growing in her heart for the dog.  Later, when Jean would come and clean our house once a week, Nami would follow her around all day.  Nami loved Jean and knew that Jean needed a dog like her.  Jean grew very attached to Nami and very proud of how, with her help, we were fattening Nami up.  No more ribs showing like a Biafran baby.

Later, Nami was sent to live with a young boy who had seizures and behavior problems.  Nami had the ability to sense when someone was going to have a seizure--only one in 500 dogs have that ability.  She was trained to alert the family so they could be with the boy when the seizure hit.  She helped with his behavior problems too.  But the family didn't keep up her obedience training and when she growled at a neighbor, everyone panicked about the mean pit bull and the family sent her back to Camp Bark--and to us.

When Nami returned to our house, we were so overjoyed.  We hoped that she wouldn't be placed in another home as an assistance dog.  When she growled at our neighbor (and I can understand why she would...she was a VERY intuitive dog) it was decided that she couldn't be an assistance dog.  YAY!

Nami moved down to Jean's for a weekend, on an experimental basis....to see if it would work.  She never came back to our house, except to visit.  That was 12 years ago.

Nami was one of the greatest dogs I have ever known in my life.  She was so sensitive to people's emotions--Jean told me that Monday she was crying in the living room, because she knew that she was going to have to take Nami to the vet to be euthanized and Nami got up out of her kennel and came out to the living room to be with her.  Nami had been refusing to get up from her kennel for two days--her hips were so bad...but she knew Jean need comforting.

Contrast that with this scene:  I have two Jack Russells on my lap.  Sandy calls me to tell me the sad news that Nami is dead.  When I hang up I start crying...then sobbing.  Do you think those Russells did so much as give me a glance?   NO! 

But Nami knew.  She was a great ambassador for her breed.  So many people learned to not fear pitbulls because they came to know her.

Years after she came into our lives we found out that her first "owner" was trying to make her be a mean dog--a fighting dog.  He kept her locked in a closet and wouldn't feed her.  She overcame that neglect and abuse and yet never held a grudge, against anyone.  She was wonderful with children and didn't appear to have a fear of anyone. 

There are so many Nami stories, so many ways she touched our lives.  Suffice it to say, she had a wonderful life with Jean, she had her routine that meant so much to her, she had children to help raise--which she loved, she had a truck to ride in--which she loved and she had lots of visitors to love her and give her attention.  She had a great life, and she appreciated all of it.

Jenny was the oldest of the J-Dogs....and the second of them to pass this year.  Jordan departed this life earlier this year and now it was Jenny's turn.  She was a dog of her own mind....and she was respected by all (human and canine) who knew her.  We have no idea how old she was...she was rescued by Janet and the kids years ago and was of unknown age then.  She lived a long and happy life with the Js and was a good "boss" for Jordan, Jaz and Jep.   She will also be missed....

I wish I could find a picture of her to post. 

Now I sit alone on New Year's Day thinking of these sweethearts, while my other sweethearts are off to an agility trial in RI.   They are doing good, based on reports I've gotten via text messages with Sandy.

I had to skip the trial this year as my BP was up all day yesterday and up to about 2pm today.  I guess this is what is going to happen after chemo...same thing happened last time too.  As long as it doesn't keep me from getting the chemo, that's all I care about.  I can handle a headache. 

I've started out the New Year with a good diet....had cream of wheat with blueberries on top for breakfast and since I got up late I am only having two meals today...so dinner is salmon, pesto pasta and grilled tomatoes.   Yum!

Happy New Year!

Christmas is over and it was very good.  I am glad it's over though, I was quite tired through most of it and last week some kind of infection settled in my right cheek and got worse through out the weekend.  I have an appt for tomorrow to see my nurse.  I suppose I will go back on antibiotics to get rid of it. 

Maybe this is what has been taking my sense of taste away.  I hope so...I hope it isn't the chemo.  Of course, if I don't get my ability to taste back, it might help me with the diet!

Maria arrived Friday at Mohegan Sun.  I picked her up and off we went to Lazizah for lunch.  I had the tuna wrap which is absolutely yummy...and on the diet too, as they use lemon instead of mayo.  I picked up hummus and other goodies for Saturday and got the pies I ordered and then we were on the road to Stop and Shop.

Of course, S&S was packed!  With two of us running around the store, we were able to finish and be out of there fairly quickly.  I picked up a Boar's Head ham to cook and got the roasted turkey breasts I had ordered from the deli--hint to all....the turkey breasts at S&S are a cheap, easy way to feed guests! 

We came home and cooked the ham.  Maria made a great glaze for it with brown sugar, Swedish dark mustard and apricot preserves.  That cooked up in no time.  I sure wish Sandy could eat ham...I love it and would make it more often if she did.

Saturday AM we got up a little late and got to work after breakfast, setting stuff out and then Sandy and Maria left to go get Bob and Wini.  I stayed home and dusted and vacuumed downstairs.  Folks started arriving after noon and we were off in holiday mode!

Roxie, Andrew and Virginia, Steve, Audrey, Luke (and Bingo the puppy); Bob and Wini, Maria, Jean, Frank and Sandy and me...nice group.  We missed seeing Phil and Austin, but they had their own party to prepare and Phil is on crutches, so he wasn't coming down here. 

We had Bob and Wini open their gifts first after we all ate.  They had to be back to Putnam by 3:00 so they would have a chance to nap before it was time to go out again to Wini's son's house.  Bob didn't seem to get what the gifts were, but he enjoyed himself and Wini appreciated the gifts.   Then Sandy drove them back home with Jean going along for the ride.

Then the rest of us dove into our gifts.  It was great having the gang there showing what they got for presents.  The puppy got passed around from lap to lap...she is so sweet.  She laid on my lap and fell asleep!   She certainly will be accustomed to lots of noise...if she can sleep with that group...

I got pretty tired and sick feeling shortly into the gathering...so I pretty much stayed in the recliner and let Roxie and Sandy do the work.  I am so lucky to have them!  I get pissed at how tired I get and if I let it go too far, I feel so yucky.  I am sick of it!  HA!

Tomorrow I have my first appointment with the personal trainer.  I'm going to be looking for her to come up with a daily routine I can do at home to get myself energized.  Also a good stretching program, so I can get maximum benefit from any workout I do.  Stretching after exercise is so critical and I want to get the most out of it. 

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions, but since I am in therapy it doesn't hurt to set a "therapy goal" for this year...I am going to work on how I say things to people....it has come to my attention more and more that I come across too strong in a negative manner.  I'm going to work on that.  I think that would be beneficial to others and to me.  I don't intend to hurt people's feelings, but apparently I frequently do...and that's not good.  I am also going to work on responding in a better manner when people "push my buttons. "  I studied some of my family dynamics this weekend and identified how some people do things that illicit a negative response in me. 

It's funny that it has taken me until I'm 62 to do these things, but better late than never.  Faith-my therapist-is going to salivate over this stuff....sometimes she is too agreeable with me...she tends to "take my side" in things I bring up and I'm going to tell her to push back on me more. 

Okay, enough of the long term goals, I have a short term goal I need to achieve:  get out of my new pj's and get the house cleaned!   Oh, and make some turkey soup in the crock pot...using the leftover meat and the bones....YUM!

Later!

Just a quick visit here before I have to jump in the shower and get up to Putnam to see Bob Miller.

That situation is driving me a bit nuts.  Wini is having a lot of trouble remembering things and I see things going downhill fast up there.  I got upset with Bob's hygiene and took have of his clothes home to wash, sort out and throw out the junk.  I'm bringing stuff back today and taking the rest of it and repeating the process.

Bob tends to wear the same clothes daily and they get all stained up...he does have that "hole in his lip" and food and liquids just dribble all over the place.  I can relate, I inherited the same condition.  For some reason our lips cannot handle food and drink without dribbling.  

He has too many clothes in his closet and I think it's overwhelming to him.  I'm going to "shorten up" the stuff hanging in there...make it easier for him to choose.  Wini and I agreed to put a sign on his hamper, reminding him to put his dirty clothes in there, not to hang them back up in the closet.

Bob is also having trouble shaving, missing great swaths of beard along his jaw line.  I am going to investigate how he would do with an electric razor.  At least if he had one (which he's never had in his life) someone else could run the razor over his face before he goes out in public.

I think it may be time to get a home health aide, or homemaker in the house.  I'm going to see how Wini feels about this.  She keeps telling me that she is tired and can't do all that needs to be done.  Let's see if she remembers that when I talk with her about getting someone in there to help.

I wouldn't mind her not remembering so much, if she wasn't so insistent that her memory of an event is correct. And if she didn't get her dander up so much when we discuss things that she is defensive about.  I can understand the defensive part, but I really struggle with her "nastiness" whether it's directed to me or other people.  She doesn't get nasty with Bob, thankfully!

It's all so frustrating to me, especially since I'm at some distance from them and just "dropping in" is not realistic.  I know plenty of other folks who have been through the same thing...but that doesn't make my experience or emotions about it any easier.

At the doctor's I was told that even though I can get my iron level back up, I will still be tired all the time-it's a byproduct of the chemo.  So, that's that.   As long as I can do my normal routine, they are not concerned...so I guess I shouldn't be concerned either.  I know now that I just have to make myself get up and get going.  And I have to pace myself.  Save my energy for the things that are important. 

I have been doing a better job of getting into bed earlier.  Sometimes I sit up, under my bathrobe (to hide the light) and play word games on the iPhone, and sometimes I go to sleep.  Either way, I am prone at an earlier hour....and it seems to help a bit.

The party season has begun.  Last week we had the gang from the hospital here for the Terry party, this week I went to Lynne's holiday party with all my fellow retirees--that was great to see all.   This coming week I'll be getting stuff prepared for our family get-together, which we will be having here on Christmas Eve day.  I have to pick up a few more things for gifts and then stuff for our smorgasbord. 

Friday Maria will be arriving to help and Saturday the festivities start.  Oh...Wednesday we are going to Jean's for Christmas with the kids.  BUSY BUSY!  YAY!

Now it's time for that shower and off to Putnam...I'm going to bring Rocky with me....that will amuse Bob.

Later!

I went back to work Tuesday, we didn't have work yesterday and I had to call out sick today.  I'm sick of being sick...this damned cold has really gotten to me...big time!   Oh and add the diarrhea that has kept me up all night for the past two nights and I have no stamina to fight back what'soever.

Oh well...it's bound to go away someday.  I just get it in my head that the diarrhea isn't going to go away...like the last time.  That lasted for almost a year!  And we still have no idea what causes it or what makes it go away.

Need to think positive.  There is too much that has to be done.

I got the house decorated inside for the holidays.  Now to get the outside lights up.  I saw a thing on one of the PBS garden shows (Allan what's his name) about how to make some cool looking lights.  I took some branches from out back and wrapped three strings of white lights around the main branch and side branches.  Then I drilled a hole in the end and put a length of twine through it.  I made two of these things.  Now I need to get them hung up outside....and hope they look nice.  They looked nice on the show.  They even had some hanging from a high ceiling at a venue where they were having a huge dinner party.  We don't have that kind of room here, so I'll stick with putting them up outside.

Tomorrow night we are hosting a "bucket party" for Terry Coney who is in CT from her Arizona home, visiting her son, daughter in law and grandkids...let's face it, the grandkids are the major draw...
We used to have "bucket parties" in the "old days" when Terry lived up here....we get a bucket of margaritas and a bottle of booze and have a party.  The Endoscopy crowd will be in the house, hopefully.  It will be great to see them again.  It's been a long time since we got together.  And, of course, we can't wait to see Terry!

I have to get up out of the recliner and get to the store to pick up stuff for party snacks and get the bucket and booze, of course.  My motivation....but I probably won't have anything to drink.  I can't handle alcohol any more...and I don't want to aggravate my "delicate system" anymore than it already is!

I think I posted here about how Truman poked a stick deep into his eye a couple of weeks ago.  He's doing much better, thanks to good doctoring by Dr. Gamble and Sandy.  I don't get involved in giving Truman those kinds of medical treatments...I don't trust him to not bite my fingers off in those circumstances...he's Sandy's dog. 

Truman and Rocky were relegated to the small yard all of last week, as we were trying to rest Rocky's back (which seemed to be having trouble) and Truman's shoulder.  They handled this restriction a lot better than I thought they would.  I was worried that I would get all kinds of shit from them about having the gate to the big yard closed...nope! 

Now that they have both been cleared by Deb Saunders (their Physical Therapist) to roam freely again, it seems I have to beg them to go out into the big yard.  Maybe they got lazy...kind of like me....we all  need to get our asses in gear.

Big week for partying coming up next week.  Pauline's party on Wednesday night at Olive Garden; the Seaside retirees group holiday party at Lynne's Thursday night and the Huskies play #1 Baylor on Sunday...and I want to have folks over for that.  In between I have chemo on Thursday and hope that it doesn't bother me too much, so I can enjoy the get together at Lynne's.

I have to finish up my shopping for Christmas for Katie and the kids, get that package mailed off to AZ, still have to get some other odds and ends for Sandy and other family members.  I don't know why but all this seems overwhelming to me right now...and I'm wondering how the hell I got everything done when I was working too.  It's mind boggling to me how people do it. 

I know that I'm feeling this way because of the chemo and the cancer and the cold...hey, all three  "C" words...I won't always feel this way.  But, at this point, I'm tired of it and want it to be over.   It kind of makes me nervous about how I would handle it if the tests show that the chemo isn't working and I have to go on something stronger, I'm beginning to question my ability to put up with that.  I have such trouble dealing with fatigue and I am fatigued for sure.

Enough whining...have to do some whining once in awhile...it helps me to blow off some anxiety and get a clearer picture.  I have to cross bridges as I come to them, not waste time anticipating things that may never happen. 

A few more days to let this cold clear up and I'm going to call that personal trainer, Jessica, and get into the gym with her.  That will help with a lot of things...unless I pick up another cold at the gym!  HA!

I have been after myself to remember to blog here and to remember to call Wini....well I just stopped writing here to call her.  Made a date to go up next Tuesday--take Bob out to lunch while Wini gets Christmas shopping done.  I would imagine this stupid congestion would be gone by then!

Okay...up out of this seat and get going!

Later!